so you know those awkward embarrassing moments that you never forget about no matter how much people tell you it's not a big deal? yeah, i have a lot of those.
you know those times when you're just being really awkward and obnoxious and all that and you say some really weird stuff that you think is really funny at the moment but when you think about it now it makes you sound so dumb? i have a lot of those too.
why am i such an embarrassment...
okay. time for the "deep" stuff.
i'm really horrible with people. i get awkwardly awkward, which breaks the ice at first, but then it just drives people away. i don't like being one of those people who's all confined in a clique, so when i started high school i tried to reinvent myself to be someone who's everyone's friend. yeah..i'm not liking it that much. it's not even working really. i like being someone that people can depend on, but really, who's there for me? no one around here, for sure. and by "here", i mean people that i see on a daily basis -- minus family. but even with family, it's hard to open up, because there's this generation gap and even some kind of weird gap between siblings and i just don't feel comfortable talking to them.
so i just come home everyday in a really bad mood, and i'm feeling all horrible and stuff because the people that do actually care and who i can talk to are like fifty billion cajillion miles away and i can't see them all the time and it's just not the same on oovoo or skype or whatever.
and it just sucks.
i just want to get out of high school.
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