stuck in the past

I just reread my TAF yearbook. and began crying. a whole fricking lot.

I think reading Eric's post on Facebook made me want to read my yearbook again because I miss the encouragement I always had when I'm around TAF people. I don't even know why this is such a big deal, because it's not like people I have here at home are holding me down or anything. But when I read what people wrote in my yearbook, it took me right back to August 2nd.

Why did people write so much nice stuff?? I'm not compassionate, I'm not open-hearted, or anything else they wrote. I suck at life. But only TAF people can make me feel like I don't.

I realized how antisocial I am now, without TAF. This is wonderful.

In small group this year, Joe said how going to TAF is like dropping off the entire year's worth of luggage--it's like a break from reality. Now that I can't go this year, I'm scared that maybe I made the wrong choice. Honestly, I know I'll survive if I don't go, but I don't think I want to go through another year without this chance to leave reality.

I miss those people. I really do.