thinking

there's something that has been on my mind for the past few weeks.

i'm scared of the future--what it holds for me. i'm afraid to let go of what i have and just go.
i always have those fantasies of my life in 5 years, 10 years, etc. but i don't feel like i can actually get there.
it's probably not really an understatement if i say that the future's pretty unpredictable. you don't know what's there, waiting for you. but everyone always seems to have a pretty general idea of what the future will be. does my lack of knowing mean that i won't even make it to that point in my life?

yes, i do actually think about when i'm going to die. i don't know if it's depressing or inspiring. depressing for the obvious reasons; inspiring because maybe this means i should just live without any regrets.
pahaha that sounded so cheesy...